My journey continues. In 2001 I decided to quit my high-tech job and pursue my passion: writing. With the support of my husband, I went back to school and got two masters degrees. I wrote and wrote and wrote. I wrote a lot of crap. I wrote some decent stuff, but mostly crap. I wrote a novel and put it on a shelf. I thought, many times, I’m never going to be able to do this. I cried. A lot. But I kept writing.
In 2006, after a lot of thrown-out drafts, I decided to start writing about the thing I was most scared to divulge: my struggle with mental illness. I have suffered, for decades now, with major depression. Most of the time I’m okay. But I have to be careful, because I can slip into a very dark place if I’m not vigilant. I need to take care of myself. I must be hyper-aware of my thoughts. I decided to write this most harrowing story of how I finally realized something was really wrong–and how I slowly, carefully got better with a lot of love and support from my family and, most importantly, this incredible dog.
I write about all the ugly, real, awful, miraculous and beautiful things in this book. And I write my truth, which is that a dog saved my life. My connection with this beautiful being who showed no judgement, just remarkable sensitivity to me and my struggle, that is what saved me.
No matter how this goes, I have one thing to share: tell your truth. No matter what it is. Kick the shit out of shame and tell your truth. It will help you heal and it might just help someone else as well.
If my book helps one person, I will be happy. Thank you so much to all of you beautiful people for all of your support. Thank you to Adam Wahlberg of Think Piece Publishing for believing in my story and taking a chance on me. Thank you to Lisa Grantham who connected us. This is just the beginning of a long, hard road, but I’m ready. Let’s do this. Dog Medicine is on its way. If Bunker were still with us he would be howling with bliss.