I did it, Bunker. For You.

293810_10150907956054505_982279222_nIn 2012 I wrote a journal entry about how I was trying to write a book about my relationship with my dog Bunker. I did not want to trivialize our relationship or anthropomorphize him. I didn’t want to write a basic dog-love story, because that’s not what happened. The truth is, when I was suicidal, the only hopeful thing I could think to do was find a dog. Somehow I knew that as much as people around me might not understand, finding the right dog could help save my life, help me learn to live again, help me learn to identify good, healthy love. I was right. All of that did slowly happen, and I am forever grateful.

About five years after Bunker’s death, when I could finally think about him without crying, I set out to write our story. Below is the journal entry from when I was in the depths of book-writing, when the task of capturing our relationship with words felt like climbing four Mount Everests with no oxygen. One week from tomorrow that book will be out in the world and the gift of our extraordinary relationship will continue to sustain and fulfill me.

Thank you, Bunker. I did my best. I miss you every day. I love you, buddy.

The 2012 journal entry

5 thoughts on “I did it, Bunker. For You.

  1. Julie, I woke up this morning and stayed in bed. Tried to find some inspiration on FB and there was a post about your book and the video. It was of course just what I needed. I cried deeply remembering my golden retriever Buster. He was my AMAZING GRACE through my early years of marriage trying to survive the confusion, pain, and finally recovery from the effects alcoholism had in my life. He was the contrast of divine love and joy, literally hugging me in my closet as I wailed tears of sorrow watching the alcoholism tear up the sweet life of my husband then and eventually me. Buster was born the day your book sold out! Whether it’s depression, alcoholism or devastating lonliness that starves us from connection, the presence of a dog who can penetrate our pain and just be with us, providing that connection, has proven to be the path out. Thank you for following your knowing in your deepest pain: to get a dog. That knowing led you to your life’s purpose and now millions like me are moved to do the same. I would love to meet you! BeHold Blessings Always!!! Anna

    1. Anna, I am so glad you found me and Dog Medicine. I am so glad that Buster found you. They are our healers. That moment in the closet sounds awfully familiar. They know, don’t they? They are sent to heal. I love that you say he was your amazing grace. Indeed. I hope you enjoy the book and keep in touch! I hope we can meet some day too! Julie

  2. Julie, have no worries. Bunker is so very pleased for you, quietly satisfied at the successful job he did, and is still watching over you and guiding you. We aren’t all so lucky as to actually know our guides. I suspect he will continue to push you to grow beyond your boundaries, which is part of his task.

  3. Julie, I barely know you, but i feel so much love and joy for you and your book and your honoring of your relationship with Bunker. I wish I could come “opening night” but unfortunately have unchangeable plans. However I will be there the following night at Apple books with wings on, to hear you talk, to buy your book, to get it signed and give you a hug. Thank you so much for you honesty and bravery and for this book, which I totally know I am going to love.

    1. Gayle, Thank you so, so much. I have so deeply appreciated your support all along this wild and crazy journey. Thanks to you for your bravery and honesty as well. I can’t wait to hug you at Green Apple. <3

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