Greg’s 40th Birthday Roast/Toast/Love Poem

December 11, 2012

Way back when, in 1972
A boy was born with eyes deep, ocean blue.
California born and bred,
He grew up and, kids, didn’t always have a bald head.
He was handsome and smart
(Still is, for an old fart)
loved soccer and school
made studying look semi-cool.
He strayed east for college with his copious brains,
aced Organic Chemistry which his friends deemed inane
then decided, good for him, since he found what he did best,
to follow his bliss and go to graduate school in the Northwest.
It was there he met up with his old friend Erik
And worked hours that most people thought barbaric
But he was twenty-two then, young and full of hope
That’s when I met him. And Greg, I hope you can cope
With what I’m going to say in front of our friends—
The day I met you, it was like focus coming to a lens.
We could talk and laugh like no one I’d ever known
I’d known you mere days and was all, hold the phone.
I wrote in my journal, I have it framed right there,
I’m going to marry this man, I penned, I promise. I swear.
You were smart, you were funny, you laughed at my jokes
And those eyes, man, those eyes. Nothing like them, folks.
Despite the fact that we were young and quite stupid
We were happily struck by the best kind of cupid.
We’ve been hitched now about a dozen years and a half
And that handsome man over there still makes me laugh.
You’ve graced me with two incredibly wonderful daughters
And we’ve only twice been featured in the Piedmont police blotter.
Once for a raccoon stuck in our attic
the other when your car was hit and run, how undiplomatic!
Alas, I digress. What I’m here to say
Is thank you to my husband for coming my way
And thank you to all of our dear friends who love you and joined us.
Sometimes, even though he protests, we like to fuss
Over you, Greg Barton, because you rock this place.
You’re like, seriously? the hottest guy on Nace.
So we’ve got your favorites, good old pizza and beer
Which by the way, is another reason we love you, my dear.
Nothing fancy, no fuss, just a guy we adore
Who is all I’ve ever wanted in a life partner and more.
So please raise your glass of two-buck chuck
And toast to another forty years of great luck.

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